Sunday, March 22, 2009

Sarcasm Much?

First I just want to start out with the fact that I have had a positive attitude so far this whole year, so please forgive the negativity you are going to hear from here out.
I love to gain weight. I tell myself this because I have to, if I didn't like gaining weight then it wouldn't happen so frequently. This is the sarcasm I speak of. This week was horrible!!! It;s when you think you've got something nailed and then a giant hand smacks you to the ground and says "not so fast silly girl, its not that easy!" Your good for the majority of the time you say no to the plate of cookies a client brings into you, you go to the healthy side of the mountain chick ladies candy van and get pistachio's instead of the chocolate caramel clusters that you are dying for. This is just one day of my week. So when I think back on the sacrifices that I am making in my daily life, like losing sleep to go to the gym at 4:30 am every morning even though when your alarm goes off your so tired you could cry, it is easy to shed a tear when you step on that scale and it reads 2 lbs. heavier than the week before! And the worst part about it, is that you want to binge on something fatty and sugary and horrible for you, but when I look in my fridge all I have is healthy crap like light yogurt and fruits and vegetables.....ahrrrrrrrrrrg, I can't win!
I don't have a plan of attack for the coming week like any other week that I've had a gain. Somedays you just want to throw yourself a pity party and not get out of bed. How do you get out of a rut like this?
Forgive my moment of weakness, I'll be a new person next wee, I promise!

6 comments:

Mom Johnson said...

I'm right there with you babe!!!! You work your butt off and can't figure out what happened. Then you say, muscle ways more than fat---or I must be getting ready for that time of the month--ya da ya da ya da!! The truth is, something went wrong with portions, exercise, or it's just my body--who knows! The important thing is that I have to remember the reason I exercise and eat right; because I feel better!!!! In the long run it really doesn't matter what I look like, but I want my body to feel good, and run the way it should, because that is actually rewarding. So, I guess you could look at it that way, you're no depriving yourself of the things you love, but you're supplying the body you love the things it needs so you can be around to enjoy the really important things in life, not one of which is food. When I feel deprived, or that I'm sacrificing, I always do worse. It's a minor road block, Carrie. I've seen you do things much, much harder and come out on top.
I'm proud of you for all you're doing. You don't need to be a new person, you just need to love the person you are the way that we all do! Hope you have a great week, whatever great will be to you! I love you, more than you can imagine--

Mom Johnson said...

By the way! Cute background--perky!! Made me feel happy
Mom

Shauna said...

Chin up Carrie! Ok here is my plan of attack...I would try something different and new this week. ie jog on the treadmill for 1 minute, walk on a steep incline, do 20 more sit ups, do 10 more push ups. Push yourself hard, you are a strong person and you can do anything. Carrie you have that enthusiasm, passion and love for life that if contagious. You can do it! Love ya!

Mom Johnson said...

Okay, I just read by post--did I actually spell weighs "ways". Holy mackeral--I must be losing it. Hope you're having a better week!

Paul N Ray said...

Carrie - I had to come to the conclusion it doesn't matter how much I think I tried - if the weight isn't coming off then more has to be done. It's not fair but true. So, exercise a little more or different, eat better or other choices. I know it is easier to say than do, but those are the facts.

For me it's a mental thing as well. Until I really set my mind to it I struggle. Once I hit the tipping point and my mental attitude kicks in it is easier to push away and eat smart. I struggle ever day, but I threw all my big clothes away and I refuse to buy bigger. So that is my motivation. Just find what keeps you on track.

Besides, like what has been said, you are a great person and I love to be around you. You make me smile. Count your blessings and keep on truckin' with your goal. You are brave to be so open about this and know you are loved.
"Papa Johnson" (Angela started that name - I like it).

Mary said...

I'm slow to post -- again. I hope by this point in the week you're feeling better about things. If not, here's a groan, ugh, and drats from me. That said, look at the positive. You've got lots of people pulling for you, lots of people sharing your frustration, but most of all, lots of people showing their support and love. Again, I praise you for your honesty and tenacity.

Gramma used to have a sign on her refrigerator that said, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Change the word thin to healthy and that makes the saying powerful! I don't have a saying, but I'll throw in my 2 cents worth of advice -- have a written plan for food and exercise, and then work that plan baby! If it's not working, tweak it!!! Take away, add, change it up, tweak!

Carrie, YOU can do it!