The Beast

I've been meaning to post for a while, not because a whole lot of interesting things have happened, but enough to tell about, I guess.

This contraption is what I call "The Beast". Is slices, it dices, it grinds wheat, and anything else I tell it to do. Anyone may know that my work life lately has been crazy! A girl got fired at work, and the next day a girl quit, and the next day a girl went into the hospital. After a few weeks of stress, my boss has hired a stellar new team, he also decided to get me an early Christmas present, a Vita-mix. I have been talking about how badly I wanted one of these appliances since I saw the demonstration video that my boss's wife let me borrow, but knew that there was no way that I was going to talk the hubby into letting me get one. Hasn't Dustin learned that when I set my mind to something that I want, eventually I will find a way to get it? Since then I have made yummy smoothies, salad dressings, and even soup in this blender. I am equally excited every morning when I get to make a protein shake, because I know every seed will be crushed into oblivion. It's amazing and worth blogging about!

I Think I Fixed It!

I've had a few comments that since I changed the background to the pink, you weren't able to leave any comments. I think I fixed it, so please comment away! I'm having a rough month so any words of encouragement, if you're still even following the blog, would be appreciated!

If You Don't Have Anything Good to Say, Then You Shouldn't Say Anything at All!

I think about updating my blog every Sunday, and every Sunday I get on the scale and my eyes bulge a little more. My thoughts are exactly what the title of this post says. When I get my S*** together, and have some good new to report that is when I will post.

I love Fall! But I can't help but have a bit of a sick feeling in my tummy when I know what October to January bring..........food based holidays. If you're an alcoholic stay out of the bar. If you're a food addict, stay away from the holidays. I think I'm going to have to learn how to love exercise, so that I can overcompensate for these buffet's on steroids that are coming up in the following months.

Check back for future posts with positive content. I hope it isn't too long a wait, or should I say weight! (Do you see how I made that into a clever little pun, I thought so, you're so smart!)

One Woman Show!

It's a lot easier to start a new lifestyle of eating when the rest of your life is running the way it normally does.  I didn't plan to have the week I had this past week.  I know, every time you try to make a change for the good, there always has to be something to throw a wrench in it.  I did make very good decisions with my eating, but I stayed the same when I weighed in today. I'm not complaining, but it does show that even though you are eating less, that doesn't always equal weight loss.

My work has been a roller coaster ride this last month, and to top it all off I am now pretty much alone in the office.  My insurance agency has the largest clientele in Grand Junction.  Over 5000 in the book of business.  The office usually runs with 4 full-time fully licensed staff members.  Right now it is just little old me.  On Friday I felt like the phone was surgically sewn to my ear for 5 hours.  It took me 3 1/2 hours to finish my lunch, at my desk, in between talking with clients.  Every time I would get off of the phone with one person, I would be given 3 more messages.  Not to mention the emails that I been neglecting.  

The point is that no matter how hard I tried to plan to eat right, the time was not there during the day.  When I went home at night I was so mentally tired that I sat and did nothing.  I only went to the gym twice.  This next week will be exactly like last week and so I need to make goals and commitments today so that I can plan for the whole week to be running to catch up.  

I'm going to start eating breakfast at home.  I've been eating it at work normally, but lately haven't had time to eat until like 10 or 11.....not good.  I'm going to go to bed at a decent hour, and get up to go to the gym everyday.  This can only help to handle the stress.  And last I will pack my lunch the night before so that I have the time to plan it.  I feel much better when I've made some achievable goals.  Bring on this next week!  

Some Great Things are Happening.

My mind is so full I am ready to explode!  First things first, I weighed myself this last Monday and the results were depressing.  Another gain to 260!  This is ridiculous, why was I living on liquid to just go back up.  So I put on my big girl panties (under armor compression shorts) and did what I needed to do.  I went to the gym 4 times this week at the butt crack of dawn did interval cardio, and circuit weight training.  After not being able to raise my arms or sit on the toilet because of the pained muscles I weighed in today at 254.

I've had a lot of revelation this week, and I thank good friends that think of me even when we haven't spoken in a long time.  I had one friend remind me of what I use to be like.  I hadn't thought of that person in a long time, that girl that use to be me.  It's weird when you see yourself from someone else's point of view.  Its eye opening.  It feels inspiring to be reminded of things you use to take interest in.  And not just interest but you actually applied it into your life.  I speak of diet and exercise.  At one point in my life, it was my life.  This was a short period of time, but I was healthy and happy.  Don't get me wrong, I am happy in most aspects of my life.  I have a wonderful, supportive husband, a weird cat, a job with a boss who cares about me, WONDERFUL family and friends.  The one area of my life that is frustrating the hell out of me is my health.  

The second answer to a prayer would be an email that I received from a friend that I haven't spoken to since I was 19.  She had been reading my blog and even though we hadn't spoken in so many years she wrote me an unbelievable email that was coincidentally a subject that had been on my mind for the last couple of years.  I've been doing  some research on vegetarianism for the last few years.  The lifestyle has always made sense to me, but I have always been scared to make the plunge and turn my diet upside down.  After speaking with this friend and checking out some of the information that she has supplied me with, I'm ready to make the plunge.  I hope to not get any negative feed back on this, I will be getting plenty of protein and vitamins and minerals.  All I can say is you can find an opposing side to any diet if you want to find it, there are pro's and con's to every kind of way of eating.  This is choice that I have thought about for years and I feel really good about this decision.  I know that I will have support system no matter what I do, hence the WONDERFUL family and friends. 

Here's to new beginnings!       

I'm Still Here! Don't Give up on Me!

I need to get back to the task at hand!  The fire fizzled, what are you gonna do? I promised in the beginning that I would blog good or not right.  So here it is, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  My current weight is 256.  This is 12 pounds higher than my peak weigh loss with optifast.  I feel like I have been running to stand still, and all that hard work is creeping back slowly but surely.  

I don't know if any of you have checked out the blog that me and my friends have started.  Its on my sidebar, its called the weight loss accountability buddies.  If you don't see me writing on my own blog, check that one, my friends are pretty relentless when it comes to tracking your goals. I've made some good friends in Colorado!  

Sometimes I find it hard to write when there is nothing good to talk about when it comes to my weight.  I am in a frustrating period right now.  It seems everyone is getting pregnant around me and although some days it motivates me, other days it makes me sad and discouraged.  I think the balance between those days is leaving me at a stand still.  

One issue that I have been having lately is that my schedule is all out of whack.  Optifast through me off eating wise and I've got out of the habit of making regular meals and keeping a supply of good foods at my house.  This week me and Dustin are sitting down and budgeting and planning.  I am too structured of a person to go willy nilly with my food and exercise.  I am also going to be starting to exercise in the wee hours of the morning again.  Man, I'm tired even writing that, but it is something that needs to happen.  

Will this ever get easier?  

Do you hear that?

Do you hear that........it sounds like a spark..........no, a fire.......that's been lit under my butt?  I just had a moment that I am going to ride out.  I cannot say the event that started this fire, but I am glad that it happened.  Shame on me for losing my focus, and forgetting to keep my eye on the prize. I am looking forward to the gym tomorrow, so much that I am a little excited.  I can't be to hard on myself, I have accomplished the goals that I have made for myself the last two weeks.  I laid off the carbonation and exercised regularly, but I can't help but think that I am moving backwards.  I have gotten more active in my life.  I play tennis every Wednesday and I volunteered to assistant coach a girls softball team with a friend.  Why is it that I can't find balance between exercise and food?  I can do one or the other, but never both at the same time.  

Wish me luck this week, and pray that the fire stays blazing.